Do you ever feel like you’re living in two different worlds?
“Thank God I’m back at work. I come here to take a break from my family.”
I often heard this from colleagues after vacations or several days working from home, back when I was a manager. During the COVID lockdown, I noticed how many people dreamed of “escaping” to the office.
Working from home has its advantages — no commuting, more flexibility, the comfort of your own space. But what if your home turns into a battlefield between your work and personal worlds? Have you ever opened the door to your home office and felt like you stepped into a different universe where completely different rules apply?
I call this phenomenon the gateway to a parallel universe. And it’s not just a theory — during the COVID lockdown, nearly all my clients struggled with it. Even now, after the pandemic has ended, many of us still experience this “collision with a parallel reality.” So, how can we smoothly transition between these worlds and find balance?
Why is working from home challenging?
At home, you live with your closest people — partner, children. You have different roles there than at work. Relationships aren’t professional or formal but very personal — often intense and close. Emotions run high, daily worries, moods, and feelings are dealt with. Work, on the other hand, is structured, performance-driven, and demands clear communication. Each of us develops different “masks” for these environments — different ways of behaving and expressing ourselves. The problem is, for most people, these masks differ significantly, and few can switch between them easily and quickly.
Ilustrative examples:
Example 1 – “kids”:
Imagine you’re just finishing an intense online meeting with colleagues, discussing an important project where every argument is carefully weighed. Just a few seconds later, you’re greeted by your child in tears because “the panda can’t sleep because her bed disappeared.” Switching from a formal, rational mindset to the gentle, soothing role of a parent is nearly impossible without a short pause.
Example 2 – “partner”:
During a work video call, you’re explaining the complex details of a project to your boss. You hang up, open the office door, and suddenly you’re in the kitchen, where your partner greets you with a blunt question: “What’s for dinner?” Your mind is still fully in work mode, and a simple question from a completely different context suddenly irritates you.
These situations are not rare—and their impact tends to accumulate.
When the only thing separating your work life from your home life is the door to your office, transitions often feel like a collision. It’s a strain on the psyche, which has to adapt to completely different rules in a matter of seconds. And that’s often the main source of stress when working from home.
Over time, if this situation continues, the effects begin to pile up:
Clients (and former colleagues) talk about growing frustration with family members—sometimes even developing an aversion to interacting with them during work hours.
A sense of overwhelm increases, as work and personal tasks start to blur together and it becomes unclear when you’re “done for the day.”
Fatigue builds up, because your brain doesn’t know when to stop thinking about work—and you lack time for real rest.
A feeling of isolation emerges—contact with coworkers fades, and even though you’re home with family, you may feel cut off from the professional world.
Burnout risk rises, as working from home often leads to longer hours and less space for mental relaxation and reset.
All these effects create a constant pressure that slowly begins to spill over into family life—not just during work hours, but afterwards too. Patience wears thin, feelings of overload and emotional saturation grow. Family relationships, which should be a source of support and calm, can easily become a source of tension and conflict.
Words from my colleagues during the COVID lockdown
My personal insight:
Working from home five days a week definitely didn’t suit me. I felt like I was living in a pressure cooker. What helped was going for a walk in the forest—every morning and evening.
A colleague’s words:
Home office felt like working in a kindergarten, where I was not only the only teacher but also the janitor.
How are you doing?
“Working from home is like juggling — you’ve got three balls in the air: work, family, and rest.”
These kinds of metaphors can be great for self-reflection. Give it a try!
Take a moment to check in with your own juggling act.
- Which ball do you tend to drop most often?
- Are you still enjoying the act of juggling?
- Does it feel light and manageable — or heavy and overwhelming?
- Working from home two days a week boosts employee satisfaction and significantly reduces turnover. (forbes)
- Employees who work from home two days a week are just as productive — and just as likely to be promoted — as those who work solely from the office. (stanfordreport)
- People who work exclusively from home (never coming into the office) tend to be, on average, 10% less productive than those who work in the office every day. (stanford)
- One of the hidden challenges of remote work: 1 in 4 employees admit they’re losing the ability to hold smooth conversations or maintain eye contact. (new-york-post)
How to turn your home office into a space of satisfaction
How do you manage long-term remote work without breaking down, burning out or getting divorced – and maybe even enjoy it once in a while?
That’s a question I once had to figure out myself – I went through over two years of working from home while building our startup, and later spent almost two more years working from home as a manager of a global team.
I find it a fascinating topic – and one I often explore with my clients today.
The good news is that there are a few principles and simple tricks that can quickly boost satisfaction for most people working from home. That’s why I invite you to read the upcoming articles, where I’ll share how to set up transition rituals, how to clearly separate work and rest, and how to improve communication with your family.
Additions
If you’re interested in this topic, here are some related facts and a disclaimer about the potential risks that come with working from home.
Disclaimer
Working from home can be beneficial and comfortable for most people, but for certain groups, it may pose risks to mental well-being.
If you belong to a vulnerable group (e.g. people with depression, anxiety, OCD, or ADHD), or if you’re facing challenges such as domestic violence, addiction, or chronic burnout, it’s strongly recommended to seek professional help.
We’re all different – that’s why it’s important to find your own balance and, if needed, get the kind of support that works best for you.
At-risk groups and extreme situations to be addressed with professional support when working from home
Risk groups
- People with depression: Isolation during remote work can worsen symptoms such as loneliness, loss of energy, or lack of purpose. The absence of daily social interaction may deepen the feeling of disconnection.
- People with anxiety disorders: Blurry boundaries between work and rest can increase anxiety and restlessness. The pressure to meet responsibilities without direct guidance may lead to elevated stress.
- People with obsessive-compulsive disorder (OCD): The home environment can act as a trigger for compulsive rituals – for example, excessive cleaning or checking.
- People with attention deficit issues (e.g. ADHD): The flexibility of home office can lead to a lack of structure and increased procrastination, causing more frustration.
- People with eating disorders: Constant proximity to the kitchen or fridge can trigger unhealthy habits, especially under emotional stress.
Risk situations
- Domestic violence
For victims of domestic abuse, working from home can be dangerous, as it increases time spent with the abuser. Such situations must be addressed immediately with professional help (e.g. crisis centers, police).
- Social anxiety (social phobia)
For some people, prolonged remote work can intensify fear of social situations, making it harder to return to in-person work or maintain interaction with colleagues.
- Addiction
Home office can create an environment where addiction issues (alcohol, prescription meds, drugs) are easier to hide due to the lack of social oversight.
Extreme cases that require professional intervention
- Agoraphobia (fear of leaving safe space)
Long-term remote work can worsen this condition. If someone feels unable to leave their home, it’s crucial to seek professional help – many psychologists now offer online sessions.
- Chronic burnout
If feelings of exhaustion, frustration, or loss of motivation persist over time and regular recovery tools don’t help, consider reaching out to a therapist.
- Workaholism
Home office can reinforce the tendency to work nonstop, increasing the risk of both physical and mental exhaustion.
- Damaged family relationships
If ongoing household conflicts are affecting the mental well-being of family members, family therapy or another form of support might be necessary.
Ways to prevent and seek support
- Self-reflection
Pay attention to your feelings and behaviors – if you feel like you’re losing control, feeling overly tired or isolated, it may be time to seek help.
- Communication
Talk openly about how you feel with your family, friends, or coworkers. Social support is key.
- Professional help
If things don’t improve or start getting worse, reach out to a therapist, psychologist, or other mental health professional.